2010-11-01

2 Months Since I Last Saw The Motherland

So the weekend was rather busy! On Friday Raymond, the boss, and Edward (either a teacher or assistant-Chinese) and I drove to 沂水, Yishui. It was around 200+km away and took us three and a half hours. The first part of the journey was on a big wide highway. When we had left Qingdao it became very noticeable how few cars were on the road. In fact, apart from a few trucks, it was pretty much empty. The trucks in China are great, big, clunking hulks, covered in dust with a cover haphazardly lashed over a cargo. They drive in any lane on the motorway and when we drove past, Raymond would hoot and flash his lights. I think this was so they'd know we were there. It worries me that he felt that he had to do that because it implies truck drivers will just veer anywhere without looking... Some didn't understand land markings and happily straddled their vehicles over the lane markers. A few more aspects of Chinese driving I noticed was that when you are in a carpark, while the Brits will go to any lengths to avoid hitting an open door on the vehicle besides their car, the Chinese will happily fling their doors open and slam into the neighbouring car. Also, Raymond's car came with seatbelts but no buckles. So there was a strap. Which rendered it useless.

Chinese driving in general is rather, er, free in style. However I have to say that in general it works pretty well. The drivers are far more aware of what is around them whilst I think that in the UK, drivers go around in some sort of a trance and the minute anything unexpected comes up, they do not have a clue what to do. Here the rules are more like the unspoken ones you follow whilst walking on a pavement in a crowd. If you want to turn left, across a lane of traffic, you edge out and edge out until one car pauses briefly so you can cross. In the UK you just sit there for ages.

At first Raymond played some English story on the radio. I hope it wasn't for my benefit as it was fairly egregious. An American women, with a bizarrely 50s sounding accent, told us all how you should sacrifice friends for ambition.

We stopped briefly at a brand new service station. There were no other cars. Some of the workers came out to stare at me.

Then we turned off the highway. This wasn't a brand spanking new 6 lane artery, rather it more closely resembled my aunt's farm track. The road was wide enough for 2 cars, that is, in the UK it would be for 2 but here it was like, if it fits, we're cool, so perhaps I should say 3 cars. The road was covered in dust, the trees were covered in dust, the trucks were covered in dust. After a while the surface really detoriated into potholes. Remember, this was the main road to a city of 1 million people! The vehicles on the road became more and more creative as we progressed. As well as the trucks, and some battered cars, there were motorbike, electric bikes, small trucks and this weird, chugging contraption that consisted of a trailer and in front, a motor on a wheel with a headlight attached. It was steered with handles attached to the motor.

I found the countryside we passed through incredibly interesting as we went through tiny villages with houses made of grey, rough stone with red roofs, built around a courtyard-which is the traditional way. The fields were often terraced and I could see no tractor marks so I assume they were hand-tilled. Most of the fields were bare with stacks of what looked like reeds piled around. Occasionally we passed some woods. Previously, China had basically cut down all of its trees so the government went on a tree-planting drive to stop erosion, which is a huge problem in China-their country is literally washing away- so the trees here are all standing to attention in perfect rows and columns. I saw 3 or 4 cows in one courtyard we passed, as well as a couple of flocks of sheep. However on the whole livestock was very rare. I wonder, are they just hidden away for the winter? Because I imagine that Qingdao alone consumes a fair amount of meat so where are the flocks and herds?

The villages that we drove through all had China Mobile shops. I think it is a rather bizarre quirk that so many poor people here in China, and elsewhere in Africa etc, may struggle to afford decent food, healthcare and housing, yet they almost always have mobile phones.

I wonder what it is like living in one of those villages. If it's cold, you're cold. When it's dark, you can't see. When it's raining, you get wet. I have only ever lived in 20c, dry, light houses.

As we neared Yishui the landscape turned to brown. Just brown. Brown hills, brown plants, brown road. At first I thought it was scrubland but when I looked closely I could see terraces so I think they were just fields that hadn't been planted yet. No trees here.

Then we finally arrived in Yishui. Yishui is like the middle of nowhere. Only not so cosmopolitan. There is a river, mostly dried up, that someone has attempted to prettify  but away from there, it got a bit grey. The buildings were low and dilapidated. They don't tend to build things to last here so even fairly recent constructions rust, mould and crack a lot. It was dark when we arrived and I was feeling distracted, occasionally in China the food comes back to haunt you..., so I did not see much. Finally, after a detour via some toilets for me (I hate Chinese toilets- they tend to be hole-in-the-floor. I feel these introduce an unnecessary element of chance into proceedings), we arrived at what was probably the swishest hotel in town. It was nice, with girls in qipao ready to greet you, but there were, shall we say, cracks in the veneer. The English signs were unintelligible, there were a lot of flies, and the restaurant had run out of rice. A Chinese restaurant never runs out of rice. Except this one. My room view was of a building site.

Dinner consisted of various dishes such as lamb ribs, something that resembled squares of scrambled egg, veggies and a spicy peanut dish I didn't touch. I couldn't quite eat the ribs with chopsticks so just gnawed away. Seeing as I am a barbarian, might as well act like one!

I got rung up again-making it the 4th time- by the modelling company wondering if I could do their shoot. Popular :P

I probed Raymond's and Edward's minds on China. I asked them about religion and neither had one. Interestingly they both said China needed religion as right now it is rather soulless. Amusingly, I asked them which religion they thought China should have and neither could come up with one... However I do agree that China right now resembles some great clanking machine- lots of parts working furiously away but just bits of dead metal. The Chinese only want money...

After dinner, Edward and I went for a walk up Yishui's main road. We passed through a park and there was one group dancing the waltz, another doing some sort of synchronised hopping dance, another playing the drums and another practising taichi. I like that adults here go to the park. It keeps them very healthy and mobile. Everyone stared at me. Some with open mouths.

The next day I went down to breakfast early and had to sit on a big table with other Chinese. There was a hush as I positioned myself. Then conversation slowly restarted as I concentrated very hard on my plate. Chinese breakfasts don't really differ from other meals which sucks as I don't fancy rice and pepper for breakfast. However I found some fried egg and tucked into that. I also found some melon and had a devil of a time trying to pluck it up with chopsticks.

Then we drove to the Kelloggs' factory. Re-read the paragraph above and then return to this one. See Kelloggs' problem? They first came to China in 2000 and left in 2001 because no Chinese person wants to or needs to buy expensive cereal and milk for breakfast. I asked Raymond and he dithered a bit saying that sometimes children ate a bowl of cereal but I have never seen any cereal other than imported Western brands in shops. This implies that only Westerners eat it- and at around 6pounds for 24 weetabix, only they can afford it! Anyway, Kelloggs came back in 2008 and decided, very wisely, to concentrate on their cereal bars. However in some of the factory rooms the products were all laid out and I saw not one Kelloggs' branded box-only a Chinese brand. So I think that Kelloggs' might not be in China much longer.

Teaching went well-the first class were very enthusiastic but the second class were terrified. Both classes would have had an equal amount of teaching so the 2nd class consisted of the lost lambs of the world, plus some too cool for school. I persevered and by the end Cherry had stopped trembling, and Frank had stopped checking his phone long enough to speak some English. We finished off with a Halloween themed lesson and then we jumped in the car and got out of Yishui as fast as possible.

I would not recommend Yishui as a holiday destination.

On the way back, it was virtually night the whole way. So pitch black. At no point, until we got to Qingdao, were there any streetlamps. There were four lanes of traffic out of Yishui and not all the cars were staying on the traditional right side of the road. So we were driving along in the pitch black, with blazing headlights directly in front. Occasionally a slight shadow hinted at one of those motor-only contraptions in front that would need to be avoided. When we came up behind a truck the dust thrown up would hide it. All you could see would be a haze of light and then a shadow sillhouette of a truck. It was a striking image, if you saw it in a magazine, but driving behind it was worrying... Finally we reached the highway and spent the next hour playing dodgems at 140kmh. Cars will just veer into you, unless you blast the horn. Fun fun.

I was dropped off near Carrefour and got a taxi back home. Then I hurriedly got changed and called Nick to take me to LPG. When I got there I had fish and chips and a beer. Ah, civilisation! (The fish and chips would have been classed as mediocre in the UK but was bloody ambrosia here-if a tad cold ambrosia.) Then we headed to Q bar, which was a bar in Shangri-La which is a lovely, shiny, hotel. Q bar was very nice and almost classy, the pole ruined that vibe, but there was a live band (phillipino I think) and I rather enjoyed it. There was a 57 year old American wandering around with a necklace of toothbrushes and a ballerina skirt conducting an informal survey to see which nations understood the concept of the tooth fairy. I also met a very very gay South Korean. He amused me greatly. He'd been in the navy.

Then the guitarist, a fat Chineseman in drag, did a strip tease. Rather bizarre. And Tinkerbell did a pole dance which involved some rather impressive moves.

I left at this point as Nick's friends include one female- a vey obnoxious, fat, American. Who resents me as the other female. And shows this by not saying one word to me except for standing in front of me, with her back in my face. Plus I was rather tired! I only had 9元 left so I hailed a taxi and persuaded him to take me home for 9. He did, very kindly, and we had a conversation! At first I didn't understand and then I realised he was asking what I wanted to do after graduation. I said I wanted to become a taxi driver like him, which made him tell me off and tell me to become a teacher. He doesn't like being a taxi driver. Then I told him I was 20 and he didn't believe me. Then I told him I was a twin and I don't think he could have been more surprised if I'd told him I had been to the moon. Fun times :)

On Sunday I borrowed 1元 from Becka, for the bus, and sailed down to withdraw money. But the atm refused. As did the next, and the next. So Natwest, after allowing me to withdraw the maximum every day for a week, have only now blocked my card. Have you ever been in a foreign country with only a battered 1元, 10p, note clutched in your sweaty palm? Faintly scary. It presents problems- as I like to eat. I hiked back up to the halls gently smoking with rage and borrowed 100元 off Becka and went to Starbucks to cool down.

I miss money.

At 4pm Vivien came to see me. We talked for around 2 hours in English and Chinese-the longest conversation I've had in Chinese definitely! She brought me a gift of a bottle opener shaped like a Beijing Opera mask. I felt rather guilty as I had nothing for her... Anyway, she was lovely-even if she did accidentally take my pen! And it certainly helped my language!

On the way back from Yishui, the opening bars of We Will Rock You came on the radio. I was like yeaaah Queen. Then a Chinese voice started. He was singing about Chinese people standing up for themselves. Oh well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...

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