Yes, I Can Use Chopsticks

The Chinese have low expectations of Westerners. Particularly where chopsticks are concerned. They immediately assume that I will be incapable of using them as it is a skill far beyond the capability of my clumsy Western hands, usefuly only for stabbing and sawing hunks of meat. They eagerly rush to find me a spoon or a fork. One even declared this weekend, "I can't believe you know how to use chopsticks!".

Yes I can use chopsticks. Believe it or not they are fairly simple to use. Believe it or not most people in the UK use chopsticks when they eat Chinese food.

"You eat Chinese food????? WOW! Do you like it?!?!?!?!"

I pointed out that most my meals were Chinese these days. Living in China and all.

"WOW!!!"

And this was from a 27 year-old with a degree...

Admittedly she was from Yishui though. I had to go back this weekend to blabber English at them. In the hotel lobby, with the normal fuss over my funny-looking passport, there was an extended family also waiting around. I became aware of mutterings and whisperings which could be translated thus:

From mother to 12yr-oldish daughter:

"Go on, speak English to the foreigner!"
"Mooooom it's embarrassing"
"Go on! Go on! Say, ach what was the word... say "hello"! Go on!"
"Mooommm...."
"Go on go on!"

Finally there was a very timid "hello" directed at the mother in the hope this would satisfy her. I smiled and said hello back. The mother grinned delightedly and prodded the daughter, who went "errrrrmmm.....errmmmm.... my name is, is, is, Nicola!". More proud grinning from mother, who had prodded her relatives to watch her daughter speaking to the big nosed laowai.
"Hello, my name is Louise"
The kid looked thrilled I, a real English-speaking person, was speaking to her.
"Nice to meet you!" she said. I, trying not to laugh, replied likewise.

Then they all bustled off to the stairs, the daughter's face pink with success.

We had to get a public bus to Yishui, which was not so bad. However we then got a minibus back and, well, it wasn't built to contain Westerners. There was even less legroom than on a Ryanair flight. I was squashed next to a granny who sporadically fed me haws, which were quite nice. Nevertheless it was rather uncomfortable, especially for three hours. Near the end we scraped a car and had to faff around while various drivers argued. More waiting. Then I got dropped off miles from where I live so by this point, fuming from the inconvenience and from banging my head climbing out of the minibus-too goddam small!-I just got in the nearest taxi and headed straight to Starbucks for Earl Grey Tea and light christmas music.

Eventually I calmed down.

But yeah my enthusiasm for teaching in Yishui is waning. It's too much travel for 6 hours of teaching. I spend pretty much the whole weekend either travelling or messing around alone in the cold hotel. I think I'll mention to my boss that unless he gives me a massive pay rise, I'm not going anymore.

I got a call today. The caller knew who I was and knew I was foreign as he spoke nice and slowly for me. He said he was from the "moduo" company. Moduo sounded like Motor to me (motuoche is Motorbike). I had no idea who he was. I tried to remember if I'd bought a motorbike in my sleep or something. He started talking about an interview. had I applied for a job and forgotten? I had a quick discussion with Becka as to who it could be and she had no idea either. Time passed with him helplessly repeating himself and me feeling very stupid. Eventually they found someone who spoke English, or rather how to say the company in English and it turned out they were from the modelling company that took my details weeks and weeks ago. Moduo is obviously their word for model! They wanted me for some advert but it was for January and I'm not going to be in Qingdao. Still, nice to hear from them!

Another thing I noticed was that even in Yishui, Christmas decorations are everywhere. And absolutely nobody in Yishui will do anything different this Saturday. Whyyyyyyyyyy???

I got a Christmas card from my parents today. I must admit I felt a pang when I opened it.