I've been rather bad in updating this blog but I've been reduced to typing on my iPod which, while being marvellous at many, many things (speaks 5 languages and can read a map. All while playing a Bach violin concerto) it is nonetheless rather difficult to type on.
So a roundup.
We stayed in Kunming for 5 days in total which was plenty to get a feel for the place. Kunming is the capital of Yunnan province and I very nearly chose to live there and not Qingdao. However I'm glad I did choose Qingdao as not only is Kunming just a tad boring, it is also rather un-Chinese. There is no sense of a desperate need to make More Money. The buildings and roads are not designed to be big and modern and Impressive on the whole it is rather relaxed. Which is uncanny in China.
Also Kunming food is not nearly as nice as Qingdao's :p
The highlight of the week I suppose was Chinese New Year. The eve of this was Wednesday. In the day Sara and I headed out to 西山 (Western Mountains) and spent the day wandering through the forest. Here and there were temples, which I refused to go in, but also a magnolia garden that we did fork out the entrance fee for. It was nothing spectacular, just some sloping lawns with flowering magnolias. Still, it was rather pretty.
At the end was a cable car that Sara got very excited about riding. It seemed fairly safe, not like the Ride of Death in Qingdao, so we had a go. Highlights on the way included rather spectacular views of Kunming and the lake as well as a man hiding in a tent taking pictures of the tourists. At the end of the ride was a gaggle of Chinese women noisily and banshee-ly trying to buy the photos. We walked back down past the "miniature stone forest". Kunming is famous for its karst rock formations and for its best exhibit charges nearly 20 pounds. This is beyond extortionate and so we heeded to my rule of avoiding Chinese Scenic Spots and contented ourself with the tiny ones. They weren't very impressive. But there was an impressive amount of bins disguised as rocks though.
In the evening Sara and I roosted on the roof terrace with rather too much beer to watch the fireworks. And what fireworks! Normally fireworks are banned in China so this is the time of year the Chinese get set loose with them. Cue a night of constant BOOM BOOM BOOM. It felt eerily like a city under constant bombardment by an invading force. Some were so loud they set car alarms off. Others crackled like gunfire (these tended to be the smaller ones that the youths liked to throw at each other). Some Chinese were launching rockets out of the window of their 20th floor apartments.
Some Americans had bought some massive ones and after much dithering about the legality of laowais setting off virtual bombs, eventually got drunk enough to go downstairs and let rip. Interestingly some policemen must have seen but obviously didn't care about a few more fireworks amongst so many...
American Quote if the Night:
"In my opinion there is no Florida; only South Georgia and North Cuba"
On the way to the mountain while we waited at the bus station a small child marched past us, eyes crinkled up in wells of tears that proclaimed that his parents were the worst in the world and he was never going back EVER. Around 20 metres behind his exasperated family shouted at him to stop. Despite my words of encouragement to keep walking and not give in, he eventually trudged back...
Round 2 with Kunming bus system at first appeared to be going our way but then we ended up walking and catching 2 buses home instead of the normal 1 as the one wanted,
according to the sign, stopped running at 5pm. It didn't though, as we realised when it stormed past us later on...
A cafe that we began to frequent was run by a French family. They do an amazingly sinfully cheesy Croque Monsieur. We only actually espied the French on our last visit but I figured that there had to be one about somewhere as experience has taught me that good western food is done only by a Westerner. The two young French children spoke excellent mandarin, which was slightly trippy to hear.
We made the mistake of going to Kunming zoo. It was horrible. Packed full, and I mean FULL, of screaming, shouting Chinese families. Add to this loudspeakers blaring out music. Sara and I wandered in vain for 15 minutes through the hellish maelstrom before we saw anything other than a bird. The zebras and elephants all displayed classic signs of stress by walking up and down or backwards. The giraffes' horns looked diseased. The Chinese, as always oblivious to the suffering of animals, squealed with delight.
The sign on the wall declaring that animals were "man's best friends" seemed a little hollow.
We left, with headaches.
It may seem a tad harsh to say that the Chinese are inherently cruel to animals but you only have to go to the animal market to see... Tanks so packed with goldfish the ones at the bottom are slowly suffocating under the weight of those on top. Boxes of puppies too young to be from their mothers. More tiny cages with rabbits in. Boxes with literally layers of turtles. There was a dead one on the floor and I felt sorry for it.
To happier things. Sara and I spent our last day wandering around Kunming and got a manicure. I went for classic blue glitter, and Sara for gold glitter. Fabulous.
Round 3 with the Kunming bus system went to Kunming as Sara and I, after a valiant attempt at trying to catch the right bus to a certain stop and then get off to catch another one to the long distance bus station, ended up in the middle of nowhere and had to catch a taxi instead.
That bus system will always remain a mystery to me.
We caught a night bus to 景洪, Jinghong. It was the first time we had caught a night bus and whilst it was a fairly intermittent night's sleep, we emerged still with all our stuff. This is not a given on night buses.
At the bus station I paid 5交 to use their loo. I was prepared for no loo roll but the cubicles didn't even have doors. This annoyed me.
Forget calls for democracy in China. It needs basic hygiene first.
Then we caught yet another bus to Laos, leaving Jinghong behind in the dark. (Dawn is late here as we are on Beijing time, despite really being around an hour behind). We briefly stopped at Mengla for some reason or other. This part of Yunnan is very like the rest of south east Asia with green tropical trees, water buffalo in the fields, and a prevalence of motorbikes. Yunnan is such a diverse province. From tropical jungles, and China's only herd of "wild" elephants, to high plateaux of yak meadows surrounded by towering peaks in the north. It's really quite special.
Then we arrived at the border. It was a rather swish modern archway surrounded by pretty landscaped gardens of purple flowers. We whisked through the Chinese side and thus Sara left China. I, or course with my hard won resident permit, can return when I feel like it :p
In the No Man's land we were hurriedly and worriedly hassled so that we ended up taking a needless, and needless to say expensive, taxi to the Laos visa bit. In retrospect we could have waited to carry on in the bus with everyone else but we were worried about the visa...
After paying $35 each Sara and I were presented with a rather shiny visa. My passport is starting to look exciting now!
And then onto Luang Namtha. We were dropped off at the bus station before we hopped into the back of a truck converted into a shuttle bus. Predictably it was full of westerners. Including the usual blonde dimwit in harem pants and a posh accent. Hate harem pants.
After a brief ride, our travelling was finally at an end. Sara and I checked into the nearest hotel, taking the last room hehe.
I shall leave you in suspense as to how the exotic Laos is as I am quite frankly knackered. Xxx.
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